Mama Wears Athleisure Podcast Interview: Birth & Postpartum Doula Supports

I had the great honor of being interviewed by Mariela De Santiago, owner/founder of Mama Wears Athleisure. I loved this interview because Mariela likes to keep her episodes around 20 minutes because we all know that expectant and new families are busy!

Below is the video, and a transcript of our interview from her Podcast

In this episode we cover:

• The difference between a birth and postpartum doula. 
• What doula services look like prenatally, during birth, and postpartum.
• A doula's role as an educator and advocate.
• When to hire a doula.
• Creative ways to pay for doula services.

Happy Listening! 

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Mariela: hi everyone today I am here with Kelly, who is a doula. Kelly I'd love for you to share a little bit about yourself and your business.

Kelly: Yeah well thank you so much for having me on. So yeah I'm a doula, I've been supporting pregnant and postpartum families since 2018.

And I've actually had the chance to practice Doula support across the country and also internationally, too. So I've seen birth and postpartum play out in lots of different places and cultures and learned a lot, and really bring that to the way that I doula.

And then just this past fall I was finally able to follow a big dream of mine which was to both help families and doulas alike by bringing together a team of Doulas in North County San Diego, where I can help support families by matching them to birth and postpartum doulas.

Mariela: Oh my gosh that's awesome! I like that you're mentioning both the prenatal and the postpartum doulas. Would you be able to start off with just sharing what does the Doula do, and then we can go a little bit into the differences between both?

Kelly: Definitely. Well the first thing to know is that doulas are non-medical support people, that are in addition to your birth or postpartum team or support network. So we don't do anything medical.

What we do is we're there for emotional and physical support. We're also highly knowledgeable and great teachers at helping our clients learn all of their options as it relates to pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.

We consider ourselves Advocates, too, and we know that this time of your life is not a one-size-fits-all approach; and we truly want to help our clients think creatively and get in touch with their intuition about what they want this stage of their life to look like.

And you know as doulas we're hired by clients, so we're not affiliated with hospitals or providers. We don't have to adhere to sometimes the red tape and bureaucracy that is involved with these larger systems. We are there for you and your preferences and have you in mind.

And you know we only take a low volume of clients, too, so we have time for you too and we can be that sounding board, that listening ear, that emotional support through everything that's happening with your pregnancy, your birth, or your postpartum.

Mariela: Thank you for all of that. I love that you're mentioning advocating because I feel like when you're going through the whole labor, and you know giving birth to your child, it's really hard to sometimes be able to advocate for yourself when you're listening to the providers and what they're telling you to do; and whether it may or may not be what you want to do and you're so focused on, "I just want to make sure that this baby comes out safe and healthy." So you kind of tend to listen to the advice, whether it's good or not.

Kelly: It's so true. And you know you're at your most vulnerable, and the stakes are at its most high when you're at this stage of life, and without somebody's outside kind of neutral vantage point it can get a little fuzzy if the recommendation is medically appropriate, or if it's more influenced by the systems like Logistics, or problems.

I mean systems, this is a huge system, our health care; and it's broken, it's not bad, we're glad that it's here. You know San Diego is a really safe wonderful place to birth. I've doula'd in many other places that are much more challenging, but at the same time sometimes recommendations are made for interventions, or inductions, or things like that, that aren't always 100 percent
with your physiology in mind.

It might be like staffing issues, or burnout, or you know Logistics that actually don't have anything to do with your birth experience.

Mariela: would you be able to go ahead and share what the differences are between providing your Doula services to somebody that's pregnant and the postpartum Doula services?

Kelly: yeah you know, those are two totally different roles actually, and most people either practice as a birth doula, or as a postpartum doula. And both, logistically, it's kind of hard to do both; but also just the skill set and oftentimes personalities are a little different across birth and postpartum doulas.

Birth doulas, we're all about preparing your mind, your body, your soul, for your birth experience, and helping you see what aspects of birth maybe are under your
control, and which ones are not. And helping you direct energy towards those
more controllable variables like who your provider is, or which hospital you chose, or you know how you receive comfort, and communicating with your partner, and all of that kind of stuff.

So we are really there to help support you and your partner through pregnancy, birth, and those initial moments after your baby is born; versus a postpartum doula is all there for the aftercare of the birth. Really they're the person that comes into your home on a regular basis to help support you, and your family, with the transition of bringing a new baby home, maybe becoming parents for the first time, and adjusting to life with a new baby

Kelly: Um just real quick, really important to mention too, that on the postpartum doula side there's usually either daytime postpartum doulas, or nighttime postpartum doulas. And again usually they're different people, with different
skills sets.

Mariela: So for a birthing to Doula when would you come into the role? Would
you be coming in pretty early on in the pregnancy? Or is it only the last month,
or trimester?

Kelly: Birth doulas (I mean all doulas) book up really fast. We are in high demand and we, most of us, only take a couple clients a month for their estimated due dates and so you know I always say that if there's a particular Doula, either on the birth or postpartum side, that you really connect with and want to be your Doula, that's somebody you could reach out to as soon as you realize that you're pregnant.

And people do that a lot, like I'm having consults later today for people due in September, and it's January, so they just found out you know. So that does happen and can be great; but a lot of people also like to wait for the first trimester to be over before kind of wrapping their mind around the pregnancy.

And really just like you know if anybody's facing former pregnancy loss, or anything like that, sometimes it's not best for mental health to dive too far into birth and postpartum, right? And so there's also just that balance of really checking in with yourself around when is a good time to start the process of interviewing doulas.

On the birth side we do two prenatal visits in your home, but we are also just a point of contact from throughout your pregnancy. So my clients are texting me, checking in, maybe not every week, definitely but every other week, every three weeks, with questions about their symptoms, or something their doctor said, or you know just something they saw on Google or Tik Tock, and want to talk through; and so you know we're in really close touch with our clients throughout the whole pregnancy.

Mariela: I love that you mentioned the reaching out for symptoms because when you're first pregnant you know you're constantly on Google. Even as a Mom you're just always on Google, right? Anytime you have anything. So it's nice to have that specialist that can help you out hopefully avoid having you go down that Google rabbit hole.

Kelly: I always tell my clients once we're connected, "let me be your Google." I've already filtered through all of the junk on Google, and I have my trusted sources that rely on evidence-based information, and you know can really like help point you towards credible sources for answering some of those questions.

Whereas it might take you an hour to go down the Google rabbit hole, it just takes a few minutes to text your Doula, and they'll send you something back.

Mariela: That's so helpful, I love that. With that let's talk a little bit more about the postpartum doulas. Would you be able to share what some of the differences would be between the daytime and night time? Like how would you be able to support either a mom or both parents during that time?

Kelly: yeah let's start on the day side first.

So daytime postpartum doulas typically have a minimum shift of four hours, and that would be pretty typical to have your Doula come over for four hours, and during that time there on first come in and check in on “How did the night go? What questions are coming up around your baby? How's feeding going? How are you recovering from your birth? How's your body feeling? Are you having any discomforts?” and being able to both listen, and help troubleshoot, and maybe even refer out if any added support is really needed for anything that might be going on.

So you know checking in on where you're at. Sometimes you know a doula might show up and the night went great, and the new mom and new dad are feeling awesome, and want to be with their baby and they’re not really like “Here, take my baby, I need a nap.”

Maybe they feel fine that day, and so the Doula might check in and say, “Well like how's food going? Are you eating well?” and maybe prepare you some lunch, (something really healthy to help rebuild your blood supply, help balance your hormones,) and cook you a really fresh delicious lunch, or breakfast, or dinner, or stock up your fridge.

Maybe they notice that you and your partner could use a little bit of time together and will hold the baby/take care of the baby so you and your partner can go have a quiet cup of coffee, even if it's just in the bedroom, and have a minute to just say, “Hey, like how are you doing? How are you adjusting to all of this?” and really creating some space for you to take care of your needs.

Oftentimes new parents will deplete themselves really fast and we’ll be giving over so much; and a postpartum doula can help prevent that crash and burn kind of feeling by really taking care of the new parents.

Of course in answering all the baby questions, checking that nursing is going well, all that sort of stuff as well.

Mariela: So it sounds like you're almost like that help that we're always asked to ask but it’s really hard for us do parents to be like, “Hey can you come over and just cook me a meal, or hold the baby while I nap?”

It’s a nice way to not really feel bad as a new mom because you are paying for that service. And it also sounds like you have that knowledge to be able to say, “Here’s what you should be eating to help you out with…” whether it's the breastmilk supply, or helping with the healing process, because it's not really ever talked about until you know right before your you leave the hospital, like here’s what you should know…

Kelly: and yeah and if they’re even talking about food, it might be related to like you know avoiding spicy foods or whatever, for your breastmilk, but it's so much deeper than that, and more complex. And you know there’s postpartum doulas that specialize in different things, it's like maybe they specialize in meal preparation, and you know really if that's something a family really needs there's a doula out there that can specialize in that; or like one of the doulas on our team she specializes in essential oils for pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. And after consults with her clients she'll make an individualized, personalized blend for that client and bring it over, and show her how to use it safely and really support her through that modality.

And so whatever your thing is, or interests, there's lots of doulas out there with these added specializations as well.

Kelly: and then on the nighttime side kind of a different vibe with the nighttime Doula. The nighttime doula’s main agenda is to help you get as much sleep as possible throughout the night. So that's their top priority for you, and usually if someone’s hiring a nighttime Doula, that's why they’re doing it, is to try to catch upon a little bit of sleep.

And so this can look different for every family depending on their how they're feeding their baby. Some people are nursing exclusively at the breast, some are doing a combination of breastfeeding and pumping, and possibly bottle feeding. Whatever your version of feeding is, your Doula is going to support you through the feeding process. And then as soon as feeding is over your Doula will take baby either to the living room, or the nursery, or wherever you want to have them set up, and do all the baby care between the feedings, so that Mom and partner can get back to sleep as quickly as possible to get that longer stretch.

Instead of needing to do things like diaper changes, which as you know can be more than just one between feedings, right? Newborn babies are going up to 12 times a day…

Mariela: It’s funny you say that, because I started tracking as soon as my baby was born. You know they have you track how often they go to the bathroom, and I wanted to do cloth diapers, so I wanted to know how often he was going, so I kind of had a better idea of when I could start the cloth diapers. As a newborn, he was going over 25 times a day!

Kelly: Totally! And some babies are like that, and some are not; and it's hard to predict, but one thing a postpartum doula does for sure is they make sure that however your baby is in between those feedings, (which is lovely and adorable and amazing) that you get a good night’s sleep so that you can catch back up, maybe once, twice, three times a week in those beginning weeks.

It can make a massive difference in your mental health, and oftentimes your relationship, and your confidence, and ability to just keep going, and bringing your best self to Parenthood, right? That nighttime Doula is all about helping you catch up on your sleep. And then of course they're there to answer your questions, and you know some clients want their Doula to sit with them during a feeding, maybe just kind of like check in on latch, or answer any questions from the day that came up.

Your doula can sit there and have that moment with you and keep you company in the night while you're feeding. Or some people just want to be left alone, and they have that time with their baby, and they text their doula when they're done “come up and grab the baby” and the doula does, and you're back to sleep.

So you know you postpartum doulas very much meet a person, and a family where they’re at. They get to know you prenatally to see what is it that you're feeling like you might need extra support in, and then they’re going to be checking in on that throughout the weeks, because sometimes it’s hard to anticipate what you’re going to need until you need it, right?

And so they are very flexible people that can meet families where they're at.

Mariela: Sleep is so important and it's so hard to get that sleep as a new parent unless your baby is going for hopefully three hour stretches; but even then if your baby is going for only three hours stretches, at most for six months, and you’re never getting that solid sleep that you need. And then I feel like your emotions you know your hormones are all over the place.

So when you first come home with the baby it's really hard to adjust. So having that help really is so essential.

Kelly: We think about how our culture just as humans, and where we're at, and we save up and spend so much money on weddings, vacations, home remodels, whatever it is that is your thing, and that's special and great, but where’s the where's the Love on this massive transition of probably one of the biggest stressors of your entire life? It is the most beautiful time, high highs, low lows. And why not invest, save, prepare for a little extra support during this time if it is possible for you to do so?

I think it's about having a real gut check with priorities, you know, there's baby registries now that are not about the stuff, but it's about the services and support. There's a local resource I believe it's called Spark Mamas. They look at local providers and do baby registry for local providers there's Be Her Village that is a nationwide connector of services to families. And so and there's a massive trend of people redirecting their ask from friends and families away from the stuff, and more to the support.

Mariela: It is so necessary. You make a really good point that we really don't invest a lot of our time into really thinking about those services, or how to take care of ourselves once that baby is here.

We’re kind of just expected to bounce back, quickly get back in shape, whatever it was pre-pregnancy. You have to be this super mom, “hold a full-time job, make sure that your house is clean, make sure that baby has home-cooked meals, is 100 percent getting breast milk,” rather than really talking about how that's just an unrealistic goal.

Not every mom has that ability, not every mom has the time to be able to work a full-time job and make those home-cooked meals. They might have to grab a few pre-packaged squeeze packs to make sure that baby is getting fed, and getting the nutrients, even aside from all of that.

Yeah getting all of those services like a prenatal massage, and just how helpful that is to help release stress for a mom that is expecting, and not to mention if you have kids already, while you're expecting, then that’s just a whole other, another beast there.

Kelly: and there are a lot of creative ways to pay for doula support, because we also have to acknowledge that you know not everybody has excess funds to be able to put towards doula services, or even home remodels, and you know luxury vacations, of course. There's many people that don’t, that’s not even on the table, right?

You know there is so much evidence now on the benefits of doulas, both on the birth and postpartum side, for truly making a difference in medical outcomes during birth, as well as mental health outcomes on the postpartum side. And because of this insurance providers, many of them, are covering doula support now.

In 2023 now, there's this awareness that all insurance providers are supposed to cover doula services.  As doulas are out there saying okay we're hearing this but like our family's hearing this and how do we connect that?

But I know in the next one to three years doulas are just going to easily be covered by health insurance, whether that's an out-of-network provider, whether it covers the actual full cost of the service is to be determined, but if you are in doubt about doula services being affordable for you, start first with your employer, or your health insurance, and ask them questions about how to get doula services covered by your insurance.

This is happening now, and so think about that the other thing to think about is that doula services can be paid by a Health Savings Account, HSA, FSA accounts as well, so there are all kinds of creative ways to be able to afford these services.

Mariela: Do you have any other tips recommendations or suggestions for anyone that is considering looking for a doula to help support them?

Kelly: First of all, start as early as you're comfortable starting. Just because the process of interviewing doulas can take a couple of weeks, (between scheduling multiple interviews, schedules, that kind of thing.) And then when you're actually interviewing doulas, my biggest tip is to look for connection over specific experiences, first and foremost. Because the ultimate role of a doula is to be a trusted emotional support for you and your family. We’re not medical providers that can give all of the medical advice about your situation, but we're knowledgeable and we can point you towards it; but really it is that connection that matters most.

You are inviting your doula into a very vulnerable moment into your life. Oftentimes you're inviting them into your marriage, your partnership. And so you and your partner, or anyone closely involved, should really feel trusting and connected to that doula. That passes any level of experiences or number of births attended. It goes a very long way, so that’s one of my biggest tips.

Mariela: Thank you so much. I appreciate you taking the time to share all of your knowledge. And for anyone that is also just wondering or curious if they want to look for them, this I hope this helps answer a lot of their questions.

Kelly: Yeah definitely, and if anybody is interested in learning more about doulas or wanting to schedule some interviews with birth or postpartum doulas, that's what I do. Our website is www.doulasofnorthcounty.com and you fill out a quick intake form, automatically gets scheduled onto my calendar. And we can just have a 30-minute sit down Zoom session to chat through answering those questions, and seeing if there might be some good matches for your family.